Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Marriage and Family Counseling

If you are having some difficulties in your marriage, or perhaps your family is in crisis, marriage and family counseling can be very beneficial. While it may initially seem a bit uncomfortable to discuss your problems with a total stranger, if you find a therapist which is a good fit and is good at what he or she does, you will very likely be glad you decided to make the investment.

Keep in mind, though, that for marriage and family counseling to be helpful, you have to be willing to make some changes in your life. It won’t be helpful if you merely use it as a place to vent or if you expect the therapist to do all of the work for you. Nor will it be helpful unless you each take responsibility for your contribution to the problem or issue at hand, because rarely is a problem entirely due to one person.

Following are some of the many ways in which marriage and family counseling can help, if you are ready and willing to do some work.

Improve communication

Poor communication or lack of communication is often at the core of most marital problems, as well as family problems. We all grew up learning ways to communicate, but we didn’t necessarily learn to do it effectively. When things are going well, talking is easy. But the true test of good communication is when there is conflict.

In marriage and family counseling, the therapist can help you find ways to communicate better with each other. This not only includes learning how to better express things such as needs, wants, or concerns, but also how to better listen to each other. Conflict is normal whenever two or more people live in the same household.

Unfortunately a lot of couples and families do not handle conflict well, and even relatively minor problems can quickly escalate. As a result they become seemingly insurmountable issues when communication completely breaks down or becomes hostile. Improving communication is the core of dealing effectively with all other issues.

Learn to choose your battles

Marriage and family counseling can also really help you learn to choose your battles. Life is going to be full of stressful and irritating things. That’s normal. But where many couples and families get into trouble is when they let everything become a huge ordeal. A good therapist can help you determine what the real issues are, while helping your learn to recognize which ones really aren’t a big deal. Learning this will go a long way towards a more peaceful home environment.

Create new patterns of interaction

As humans, we are creatures of habit. As a result we get into patterns of interacting with our spouse and family members which can be unhealthy. At times, they can even be destructive and hurtful. Sometimes we don’t even realize the damage we are doing until someone objective, such as a therapist, points it out.

Marriage and family counseling is geared towards creating new and healthier ways of interacting with each other. As the saying goes, if you keep doing the same thing you will keep getting the same result. But a skilled therapist can show you better ways to get the desired result in your relationship.

Hopefully you can see how marriage and family counseling might be very beneficial. Every couple and family has occasional struggles. Going to a therapist doesn’t mean you are weak or a failure. Rather, it shows that you recognize the need for change and that you desire some assistance in making that happen.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Save Your Marriage At All Costs

Every individual dreams about the happy and long-lasting married life. However, after a cheerful start of married life, there may be rise of some conflicts and bitterness. The couple starts to fight with each other for simple reasons. Sometimes the bitterness crosses the limits of tolerance and both the partners find it difficult to live with each other.

As a result, they tend to think of getting separated. Before taking any final decision, you should think about the consequences of separation. If you realize the importance of marriage, you may think wisely to save your marriage at all costs.

Marriage is considered as a lifelong bond which brings a man and a woman together and makes their relationships strong. It has a great importance in the life of every human being as it gives personal and social stability. Marriage is also necessary to satisfy your emotional and physical needs. In some countries, living a single is not accepted by the society and a person living alone does not get social status. The person having a successful married life gets social prestige. Marriage makes the life of human being a complete one.

It is not easy for a man or a woman to live alone whole life. You need someone to share your feelings, to help and support you through sadness and happiness. It helps the person to come out of hectic lifestyle and enjoy some wonderful moments in the life. It is a pleasant feeling that the person you love the most is always with you.

For the women, it is not just living together, but it offers secure and prestigious status in the society. Besides that, the marriage is also necessary to carry on the lineage of the family. Hence, although there are some problems in your married life, always try to save your marriage at all costs.

Separation may give rise to the personal, psychological and economical problems for both the partners. You may lose your social and economical stability after the separation. In some countries, separation is allowed according to religion. Breaking of a marriage is not good for the sake of children.

Separation of the parents may leave adverse psychological effects on the tender minds of children as they love and need both the parents equally. The children may get mentally and physically disturbed, due to which their future may get spoiled. Hence, you should try to save your marriage at all costs.

Once you decide to save your marriage at all costs, you should work on finding out the ways to resolve the problems in your married life. The first important step that you should take is to find out the reasons of conflicts. When you come to know about that, you can find the solutions and may try various options. You can try to solve the marital problems by talking with each other.

You should express an intense passion for each other because if you are successful in developing love for each other, then other problems can be immediately solved. You may take advice from your friends or family and can take the help of marriage counseling.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Save Marriage Tips

If you are having difficulty in your marriage, then you are probably desperately looking some helpful save marriage tips before things get any worse. Many marriages can be saved, but you need to be willing to look at ways in which you may be contributing to the problems. After all, the only person over whom you have any control in the relationship is you.

Following are three save marriage tips to consider if your marriage is starting to fall apart.

Don’t always put the children first

Many couples, and women in particular, believe that once they have children, the children should come first and foremost. While this is true to some degree, as children are a gift and should be treated as such, you need to be careful to not put them above your marriage. In other words, your spouse needs to be your highest priority.

You may think this first of three save marriage tips is unreasonable. After all, good parents put their children above all else, right? Wrong. When children take a much higher priority than the relationship and the marriage suffers, then the children suffer also. And in some cases, they suffer tremendously. One of the greatest gifts you can give your children is the chance to grow up in a truly happy home. And the core of a happy home is a loving, healthy marriage.

Providing this for your children will help their self esteem, their emotional wellbeing, and their sense of security. Love and cherish your children, but do the same for you spouse and keep him or her a priority in your life. This is invaluable when it comes to save marriage tips.

Don’t become a workaholic

Career demands can be intense. And at times they can be overwhelming and take up far more time than you like. But if you put all your time and energy into your job and leave nothing for your spouse, your marriage is going to be in trouble as a result.

Men are particularly guilty of this, especially if they are the primary breadwinner in the family. But with more and more women assuming that role, or at least having high-powered, demanding careers themselves, the problem can go either way. Making sure you don’t become a workaholic is one of the most important save marriage tips there is. Lots of couples end up divorcing because one spouse feels the other is married to his or her job. Over time that will take a severe toll.

Pay close attention to your spouse’s needs

The last of the three save marriage tips is to make sure you are taking care of your spouse’s needs. One of the goals of marriage is to meet each other’s needs in many areas, at least to a significant degree. Your spouse’s intimacy and sexual needs, as well as his or her need to feel significant and needed are important needs for you to meet.

It’s so easy for two people to get so busy (with work and kids as discussed above) that their spouse gets neglected in the process. Your spouse may slowly come to resent you. Even worse, he or she may look to find someone else to meet those needs. You must pay attention, and talk to your partner. The more you each discuss your personal needs with each other, the more readily you can fulfill them.

While the list of save marriage tips could go on and on, these are three particularly important ones which can help any couple. If you truly want to save your marriage, then consider if any of the above are the underlying issue.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Save Our Marriage

Married couples often go through a period of time when they think the relationship may be starting to unravel. If you and your spouse are in this situation, you are probably looking for solutions to the common question, “how can I save our marriage?”. While every couple is different, there are some key things which are practically universal when it comes to keeping a marriage together.

If you are worried about your relationship and wondering to yourself, “how can I save our marriage?”, then please keep reading. This article will help you to understand 4 basic needs that should be met, at least to a significant degree, in a marriage. If your marriage is in trouble, then at least one or more of these needs is not being met. Work on these if you long to answer the question of “what can I do to save our marriage”.

The need to be loved

Everyone has the basic human need for love. Without it, life is empty and lonely. For many people, just knowing they are loved and cherished by one key person, often a spouse, but it could also be a friend or family member, is incredibly empowering. Being loved can give strength, inspiration, and purpose. It is imperative when it comes to knowing how you can “save our marriage” that you truly show your spouse that he or she is loved.

The need to feel significant

In a world with over 6 billion people, it is pretty easy to feel insignificant. When two people get married, there is often an amazing sense of being truly significant and special to one another. Like love, this feeling of significance can be energizing and empowering. Feeling significant gives a person a sense of specialness. Even if no one else notices, you know that your spouse knows how special and unique you are. If “how can I save our marriage” is your concern, then you need to ask yourself if you are treating your spouse as someone who is truly significant to you. Are you meeting that need?

The need for intimacy

We all have a deep need and longing for intimacy. Marriage is a sacred place for both physical and emotional intimacy to be shared between you and your spouse. When you are intimate, you shut out the rest of the world and share a closeness and bond that is very powerful. Intimacy is that sense of connection which we all long for. If you hope to “save our marriage”, then you must allow that vulnerability with your spouse that is part of true intimacy. If either of you are guarded, or refuses to let the other person in, then this need cannot be fully met.

The need to be your authentic self

Unfortunately we live in a world in which we often feel we must put on a façade or persona. This is particularly true in our work but may also be true in many other areas of our life. Few people are secure enough to fully be themselves with others. But the one place which should be safe to be authentic is a marriage. As with intimacy, if one or both of you feel you must be guarded, and can’t truly be yourself, it will hinder your relationship in many ways.

The strongest and healthiest marriages are those in which both people can be truly authentic with each other. In order for you to find the best way to “save our marriage”, you must find a way to eliminate any barriers in your relationship which inhibit either of you from truly being yourself with the other.

When these four basic human needs are being met within your marriage, you will no longer need to wonder “how can I save our marriage”. Your marriage will thrive and be stronger than ever.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Help for Marriage

Quite often when couples are seeking help for marriage, it is because their marriage is starting to crumble. It may be that one spouse has been unfaithful. It may also be because there has been a significant amount of conflict, often turning into awful fights. Other times it may be because you have slowly grown very distant from each other, and you know if something doesn’t change soon, the marriage is going to unravel altogether.

Fortunately, there is help for marriage if you are both willing to make the commitment to work through the problem, no matter what it is. This can feel impossible at times, particularly if there has been an affair or other type of betrayal. Hurt feelings can go very deep. And one of you may be more reluctant to try to work things out if trust has been damaged.

Many couples do get their marriages back on track, even under pretty challenging circumstances. Sometimes a crisis can be a much needed wake up call, making one or both of you recognize the necessity of getting help for marriage so you can heal the wounds. Quite often, if you can get through the process of healing, you will find that you are closer than ever before.

There are many ways you can show each other that you are truly serious and 100% devoted to making the marriage work. Following are just a few of the ways you can do this:

Make your marriage your number one priority.

Careers, children, volunteer work and other family are certainly all very important parts of each of your lives. But when you have reached a crisis point and need help for marriage, you must first be willing to put your marital relationship above everything else in your life.

All too often work and children get all your time and energy and there is simply nothing left for the marriage. Sadly, your children will suffer as a result. You owe it to them to have a happy, healthy marriage to make them feel secure and to give them good role models. And, the happier your marriage, the happier home life will be for your children.

Be open to marriage counseling if needed

Sometimes couples get stuck and simply can’t work it out without some outside help for marriage. While marital therapy isn’t right for everyone, it is definitely worth trying. A skilled marriage counselor can help you find ways to communicate better, break unhealthy patterns and develop new ones, and put things in a new perspective.

If your spouse feels a strong need for the two of you to get counseling, show your commitment by being willing to give it a try. If you are unwilling to go, that will likely convey that you aren’t truly committed to the marriage after all. Your spouse may feel resentment, and there will be even more problems in your relationship.

Make a commitment to focus on everything you love and appreciate about each other.

When you need help for marriage, remember the saying “what you focus on expands”. This is very true in relationships. If you focus on your spouse’s faults, you will end up bringing out the worst in him. If you want to bring out the best in someone, you must frequently show appreciation for the qualities you really value. In turn, your spouse will be more inclined to show those qualities more.

These are just three ways to show commitment to your marriage. While there are many more ways, these three will go along way when you need help for marriage. The more commitment each of you shows, the more motivated you will be to work together on your relationship.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Save Your Relationship After Cheating

Cheating of one or both partners can strongly affect your martial relationship. An extra-marital affair is a heart-breaking and embarrassing situation for both the partners and indicates the failure of companionship and married life. The most important base of any marriage is trust and faith which may get weakened due to the extra-marital affair.

It may give rise to the marital problems like conflicts and bitterness which when crosses the limits can result in separation. However, separation is a very painful and stressful situation for both the partners; you should try to save your relationships after cheating.

It may be very painful and hurting for you if you come to know that your partner is cheating you. But, don’t get frustrated or panic at such situations, remain calm and try to control the situation. Think about how you can handle this situation and find out the ways to save your relationships after cheating.

It is quite obvious that you get angry with your partner, but cool down and try to know why your partner is cheating you. In most cases, the reason of cheating is not that the partner who is cheating has no emotional feelings, but it may be due to his/her physical need. In such situation, you can grab the attention of your partner with your intense love.

Whatever may be the reason of cheating, ‘forgive and forget’ is an important key factor to save your relationships after cheating. When you realize that you have been cheated by your partner, talk to him/her about it openly and find out about his/her willing to save the marriage and try to understand your partner’s approach about it. Express your love for your partner and make him/her realize how much you need him/her. If you get the positive response from your partner, then forgive him/her and say ‘Let’s make a new start’.

If you are successful in developing a deep love for each other, then this problem can be easily solved. The important step you should take to save your relationships after cheating is to find out your drawbacks and mistakes. Take efforts to improve your personality and behavior and avoid doing the things by which your partner gets hurt.

Plan to spend the vacation with your partner and go for outings. Give time for each other, improve the communication between you, try to find out the differences between you and overcome them.

If you are your partner who is cheating, then you should equally contribute and take efforts to save the marriage. You should promise to end your affair and be loyal with your partner. Your body language is significant when you are saying ‘sorry’ to your partner.

If your partner is ready to forgive you and forget the bitterness, you should respond him/her in a positive way. You should also express deep love for your partner and make him/her know how much you need your partner and how incomplete you are without him/her. This will surely work and you will be able to reignite love in your partner’s mind.

When both of you take the efforts to save your relationships after cheating is not difficult, you will be successful to improve your relationships and live happily together.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Saving a Marriage

Many couples go through very challenging periods of time when they start wondering what can be done with regards to saving a marriage. Perhaps that is happening to you and you are desperately looking for some advice. While there are no simple answers, and each situation and marriage is different, following are some two things you can consider changing if your marriage is in crisis. While they might seem simplistic on the surface, even small changes can make a big difference when it comes to saving a marriage.

Not showing appreciation for your spouse

Sometimes we get so caught up in the busy-ness of our day to day lives that we forget to appreciate the things which are really important to us. This happens frequently in marriages, especially when two people have been together a long time. One or both people in the marriage fail to recognize just how lucky they really are to have each other until one ends up leaving or a tragedy happens. Sadly, saving a marriage at that point is going to be much more difficult than if this problem is detected and dealt with early on.

Take some time to consider whether or not you are doing this in your marriage. We all long to feel important, valued, and loved. A healthy marriage meets those needs to a significant degree. But if you take your spouse for granted and fail to acknowledge all the wonderful things he or she does, then this may be a contributing factor to your current crisis. Start paying attention to all the things your spouse does for you, as well as all his or her wonderful qualities. Show gratitude and appreciation. Doing this can go a long way towards saving a marriage which is on the brink of falling apart.

Failing to communicate

All relationships require quality communication in order to be healthy or to get back on track when there is a crisis. Many couples fail to really talk openly to each other. Women often make the mistake of presuming their husband can read their mind. Men often try to avoid challenging conversations which feel uncomfortable for them. Over time, a lot of issues which need to be dealt with get swept under the rug but start to fester.

If saving a marriage is truly important to you, it is imperative that you start working on your communication skills with your spouse first. If you grew up in a home in which your parents didn’t really talk to each other, this may be particularly difficult for you. But you can start by being the one to initiate more frequent and open conversations. With practice and effort, you and your spouse can become much more skilled communicators.

Sometimes in order for communication to go smoothly, you need to set some ground rules. For example, a good ground rule is that either of you can indicate when you need a “time out”. Sometimes a discussion can start to get heated and if one of you feels you might say something you will regret, this is the perfect time to step away from the conversation for a short while. You can resume talking later when both of you are calmer.

Showing appreciation and learning to communicate well are two significant steps towards saving a marriage which is struggling or in a crisis. Make the changes in yourself first. This will show your spouse how much you truly care and how important he or she is to you.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

How To Save A Marriage

After few years of marriage some conflicts between the couples may arise and married life may become stressful. How will you come to know that your marriage is in crisis? There are some reasons responsible for disturbed married life such as alcohol abuse, difficulty with children, financial problems, a situation when both the partners are unfaithful, major life changes and problems with fertility.

The marital relationships may be affected by the broken trust, boredom, infidelity, poor communication, lack of appreciation, addictive behavior, emotional abuse, absence of sex and no affection. When the marriage is in trouble, you should try to find out the solutions of how to save a marriage.

When you realize that something is wrong with your married life, don’t just think how to save a marriage, but immediately look for the solution. You try to find out the problems and adopt some qualities to save your marriage and to stop the divorce. There are always some hopes and ways to resolve the problems your marriage. The conflicts in married life may be due to ego or some misunderstandings.

Hence, to maintain healthy relationships, you should give up ego and should take an initiative to resolve the problems in your married life. Self-assessment is a very important step to save your marriage. You should be able to think about your mistakes and develop an improvement in your behavior. Avoid doing those things that can hurt your partner.

There are some beneficial options for the problem of how to save a marriage. If you want to be a good partner, you should have a capacity to listen to your partner and understand him/her. You should be able to keep calm and talk through the problem. When your partner is talking with you, you should ask the related questions and clarify all doubts.

Good communication is a very important factor for developing the healthy relationships. You should share all problems and feelings with your partner. The most important thing is that you should fully trust your partner and never be jealous about his/her personal and professional progress.

Your approach towards your relationships and married life should be positive. Whenever there are some problems or bitterness, remember the happy moments that you had spent together and try to reignite these moments. When there are some problems, don’t get disturbed or panic, just stay calm. Whenever you lose your temper during the arguments, you generally tend to say and do the things that you actually didn’t mean.

One of the best ways to save a marriage is to create long-term plans with your partner. Make some plans to spend the vacations at good picnic spot. Some future plans that are made together may help to increase the intimacy. It will assure that your partner is always there for you.

Your overall personality and hygiene also have great impact on your married life. Hence, try to be always presentable that your partner likes and adopt hygienic habits. How to save a Marriage should not be a problematic issue at all.

Try some of above solutions and make your married life hassle-free and pleasant one.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Save Marriage Alone

Marriage is often not easy. A successful marriage takes work, dedication, sacrifice, and compromise. But in some marriages, especially when serious problems arise or a crisis hits, you may feel you are the one who has to save marriage alone. This is particularly true if you have a spouse who has emotionally “checked out” or who is unwilling to communicate or work on the problems.

That being said, no matter what the situation the pressure really is on you to save marriage alone. The reason for this is twofold:

1) The only person in the marriage you have the power to change is you. You simply cannot change another person, even your spouse, no matter how much you want to.

2) If you make changes you spouse will inevitably change also. The reason for this is because when you change, the relationship dynamics change. This will require your spouse to adjust in one way or the other.

If you make changes wisely and carefully, your spouse may end up making some very positive changes also, and it will no longer feel like you had to save marriage alone after all.

Whenever there is a conflict in a relationship of any kind, the best thing you can do is ask yourself how you may be contributing. Relationship problems are rarely due to just one person. For example, if your spouse is treating you badly, you must ask yourself why it’s happening. Maybe your spouse really is a jerk, but if this has been going on a long time, it is because you are allowing it.

Dr. Phil, who has helped thousands of people in the course of his career, has stated it very well: “We teach people how to treat us”. That is a powerful truth. If you need to save marriage alone you must ask yourself what things you are doing that have taught your spouse to react to you or treat you in certain ways.

If you feel you are unworthy of being treated with respect, then people are often not going to treat you with respect. Somewhere along the way you have given your spouse the message that it is okay to treat you badly. Even if you have gotten upset, told him you didn’t like it, cried, or even thrown things at him, the fact that it continues to happen is because in one way or another, you are allowing it.

Now, this doesn’t mean you are the cause of your spouse’s bad behavior in any way. He is responsible for his actions. You are only responsible for your reaction as well as your attitude. But if you desire to save marriage alone, you must begin making changes in your reaction and / or your attitude. If what you’ve been doing up until now hasn’t worked, then to continue doing the same thing is futile. You need to do something different.

You have much more power to save marriage alone than you probably realize. By changing your attitudes, behaviors and reactions in the relationship, you will find that those changes will impact your marriage. The trick is in determining which ones will bring about the positive changes you desire. It may be that you need to seek the help of a skilled therapist to determine what changes will be the most beneficial. But there is hope, even when you must save marriage alone, as long as you are willing to make some changes first.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Family and Marriage Therapy Programs

If you are looking for a low cost alternative to expensive marriage therapy from a private professional, you may want to look to see if any colleges or universities in your area offer family and marriage therapy programs.

Therapy can be very expensive when you are paying anywhere from $80 to $150 per hour for a licensed clinician. Many couples don’t have an extra several hundred dollars a month in their budget to cover that type of expense, no matter how much they need the help. Family and marriage therapy programs offered by colleges and universities are usually much less expensive and thus much more affordable.

These programs provide valuable services to people in many ways. Not only do they conduct ongoing research on important topics, they also provide supervised student training. The therapy or counseling services offered by these family and marriage therapy programs typically utilize graduate students who are getting a degree in clinical psychology, general counseling, clinical social work or marriage and family counseling.

The students are not yet licensed, but are providing therapy in order to gain clinical experience which is required by most, if not all, graduate programs. They work under the supervision of a licensed counselor, therapist, psychologist or social worker. As they work with you as a client, they discuss your progress and any concerns or questions they have with their supervisor. This both protects you as a client and also ensures that you are getting quality therapy.

Some family and marriage therapy programs may require that you fall within a particular household income range in order to qualify. They also are usually only available to you if you do not have any type of health insurance which covers outpatient mental health services. In some programs there may be no fee at all, but many do require a fee for services. Part of the reason for this is because people are generally more committed to and invested in the counseling or therapy process if there is a cost to them. When services are free they are often devalued by the client.

Many family and marriage therapy programs have a facility that is separate from the college or university. But others offer the services right there on the campus. Confidentiality is required just as it is with any other type of mental health or medical care.

If you are reluctant to get help through one of these family and marriage therapy programs because you don’t think a student-in-training can help you, you may be short changing yourself out of a very valuable service. Graduate students are not only eager to learn, they are not yet burned out by the profession like some seasoned clinicians who have been doing therapy for years. Also, many graduate students are often very aware of and informed about the most recent advances in treatment for a variety of disorders, which may be to your advantage. So it is definitely worth making a call to see if there is a program in your area, and if you qualify. You will never know unless you try, and if your marriage is in crisis, isn’t it better to thoroughly check out all your options rather than just discount them? If you qualify, at least give it a chance. You may be surprised at how much benefit you may get out of it.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Save the Marriage

No marriage is perfect, but some certainly fair better than others. And many marriages fluctuate between periods of things going really well and periods of struggle. But when things get particularly bad, you may find yourself wondering what things you can do to save the marriage. While in some cases it may take drastic measures, there are often some less extreme changes you can make which will have much more positive impact than you might think.

If your marriage is currently going through a difficult time, read on for two seemingly small adjustments you and your spouse can make to save the marriage. Often it’s the little things that can really make a difference over time.

Get out of the routine rut

It is very easy to get stuck in a mundane routine which begins to make your marriage feel lifeless and dull. It happens in countless marriages because to a large degree, we, as humans, like to stay in our comfort zone. And routines are “comfortable”. That being said, routines do serve some purpose in terms of keeping life ordered rather than chaotic. So there must be a balance.

If you are at a point where you need to save the marriage, it may be time to spice things up a bit and change your routine. Decide to break your normal routine for a few weeks. Perhaps you can agree to be more spontaneous when it comes to intimacy. Rather than do the same activity week after week (like dinner at your parents every Thursday night) reserve that block of time and choose a different activity every week. It will help you pull out of the stagnant pattern you have fallen into.

Don’t forget the romance!

Often when two people feel they need to save the marriage, the romance has fizzled or disappeared altogether. When you were first dating, and perhaps even early on in your marriage, there was probably a lot of romance. Flowers, love notes, candlelight dinners, etc. were an important part of your relationship.

Romance is fun, exciting, and is a way to show your spouse how special he or she is to you. Romance is also part of what separates your relationship with each other from all your other relationships in life.

Too many couples quickly neglect this part of their relationship, especially when careers, children and household chores take up all of their time and energy. The romantic gestures and times together dwindle or cease altogether. Except for occasional sex, they begin practically living like roommates.

If your marriage is struggling and you are not sure what to do to save the marriage, one of the things which can help is to start “dating” again and bring romance back into the picture. While it may seem silly or superficial, those special loving gestures can help you begin to reconnect. You know what things make your spouse feel special. And that is really what romance is all about.

If you truly want to save the marriage, work towards bringing some spontaneity and romance back into your relationship. Not only will it make you both feel more energized and alive, it will add some much needed fun. But most of all, those romantic gestures will help reignite the passion that was once there as you strive to show your spouse, in little ways, just how much he or she means to you.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Save Marriage New York

There are many different options available to manage the problems in your married life and to save your marriage. The problems in the married life may be because of lack of communication, absence of love, no sex, abusive partner, infertility, unfaithful partner and financial problems.

When these problems go beyond the limits of tolerance, the couple may start thinking about getting separated. However, divorce can affect personal and family life of both the partners. Hence, the couple first should try to find the ways to resolve the problems in married life and save the marriage.

When you try some options like talking with each other, talking with your friends and family and if you come to known that it does not work, then you may go for the marriage counseling. Marriage counseling is a form of therapy applied for conflict resolution which is generally carried out by the trained psychotherapist.

It plays a significant role in preventing the divorce and maintaining the healthy relationships by resolving the conflicts, improving the relationships, overcoming the differences and reconstructing your marriage. You need not have to go far to seek the advice to save a marriage, New York itself offers a variety of ways to get the proper guidance.

In order to save marriage, New York has numerous marriage-counseling bureaus spread in the city. Marriage counseling in New York offers empowering, creative solutions to the family and couples based on Imago Therapy to overcome anxieties and inhibitions in their struggle for great emotional intimacy. It tries at its best to prevent divorces and save marriages.

For those who wish to save marriage, New York City’s counseling houses have the superbly trained staff. The psychiatrists in the bureaus are extremely skilled and highly experienced and with intense knowledge in marriage counseling. It is very important to choose the right marriage counselor and couple therapist to get the successful outcome. He should be highly qualified and should have master’s degree in counseling or social work. He should have enough experience of marriage counseling.

The mission of marriage counseling is to resolve the problems in married life, sex therapy, couples therapy, relationship counseling and family therapy. The different forms of marriage counseling are effective when accompanied by the methods of natural psychotherapy and holistic concepts.

Marriage counseling bureaus in New York specialize in the fundamental issues of modern relationships including building and ending relationships, relationship problems, couples counseling and also pre-marital counseling. If you are not from this city and want to save marriage, New York City’s counseling bureaus offer the online facilities for you.

The marriage counselors take the genuine efforts to prevent the divorce by resolving the problems in married life and by rebuilding your relationships. They provide the effective tools such as relationship skills and communication skills to save the marriage. Various counseling sessions are held for the couples which offer good opportunity to the couples to share their feelings and help to clear the misunderstanding.

The counselor may not solve the problems in your marriage, but will help you to solve them yourself by making your marriage bond strong and keeping your relationships alive.

The effects of marriage counseling in New York are found to be wonderful. After seeking this counseling, many couples have been successful in resolving the conflicts in their married life and have got back to a happy married life.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Christian Marriage Counseling

If you and your spouse are going through a difficult time, you may find that marriage therapy can be very beneficial. And if you and your spouse have a strong Christian faith, you may prefer to seek out Christian marriage counseling. Working with a counselor who approaches therapy from a theoretical perspective which aligns with your personal faith will prevent some of the clashes which may occur if you attempt to work with a secular therapist with a very different approach.

In order to find someone who specializes in Christian marriage counseling, you may want to consult with your pastor or other people in your church. You may also look in your local yellow pages or do a search online. If you search online, you can search for the terms “Christian marriage counseling”, “Christian marriage therapy” and that can help you get started. If you add the name of your city or county you will narrow down your search to someone in your proximity.

Once you have come up with a few potential therapists, you may want to try to find out a little information about them. For example, what are their credentials? Are they licensed? How long have they been practicing? You also may want to give them a call and see if you can find out a little information over the phone before committing to an appointment.

For example, you may want to ask them how much of their approach is based on Biblical principles. This can vary greatly when it comes to Christian marriage counseling. If you want someone who is going to use the Bible and prayer in the counseling session, you may want to inquire about that. Of course, this will depend on your personal preference.

If you can talk briefly by phone with two or three different therapists, you may get a better initial sense of whether or not this is someone with whom you want to set up an appointment. If the phone conversation doesn’t feel quite right, trust your instincts and move on to the next one.

In order for Christian marriage counseling to be truly beneficial to you and your spouse, it is particularly important that both of you feel comfortable with the counselor. If you meet for a session and one of you doesn’t care for the counselor, you may find the process very challenging if you continue to see this person.

Once you find someone who is a good fit for both of you, determine a schedule that will work for everyone. Having a therapy session early in the morning before work or mid-day is often not a good idea. Counseling can tap into some difficult emotions so it is best to choose a time of day when neither of you has other obligations immediately following the sessions.

As you begin the process of Christian marriage counseling, be sure that the counselor sets clear ground rules with regards to how the sessions will be handled, how long they will last, how emergencies will be handled, what to do if you need to cancel, and confidentiality issues. Also, be sure that you discuss your goals with the therapist so that everyone is on the same page with regards to what they want Christian marriage counseling to accomplish.

After you have done all this, approach the process with an open mind and the willingness to be ready to make some changes. Marriage therapy can be very beneficial, but you must be willing to do the work. In time, you may find that your marriage is back on track and stronger than ever!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Saving My Marriage

If the primary concern going through your head these days is “what am I going to do about saving my marriage”, you are definitely not alone. At any given time thousands of couples are struggling with marital difficulties. Many are in a full blown marital crisis or have already given up and filed for divorce. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Allow me to share with you some steps I took to get my marriage back on track when, like you, all I could think about was saving my marriage.

Change expectations

When my marriage was falling apart I had to realize that if saving my marriage was truly important to me, then perhaps I needed to start by changing my expectations. I was young and naïve when I got married. I had all sorts of unrealistic expectations about marriage which were creating problems. Following were a few of them which I had to change:

• A good marriage should never have conflict • My spouse should know me so well that I don’t need to say out loud what I’m feeling inside – if I’m upset, he should just know why • There should always be lots of romance and excitement in our marriage

I wish I could say that is the entire list, but for the moment I will just share those. As you can see, I had expectations which were impossible for even the best marriage to live up to.

Be a giver not a taker

Another area which I really needed to change for the sake of saving my marriage was to stop always being a taker. While I didn’t mean to be, I began to realize that I was often very selfish in the relationship. I expected my spouse to give and give, but I wasn’t really giving much in return. I had to really step back and recognize that I couldn’t take my spouse for granted; that I needed to let go of my self-centered tendencies and start looking for ways to be much more giving to my spouse.

Build up my spouse’s self-esteem

One of the areas I had really let my spouse down was by not truly building up her self-esteem. I had just naively assumed that she never needed that from me. She had so many wonderful qualities. I rarely said or did anything affirming, because I thought she didn’t need it from me. Needless to say, when I really started focusing on saving my marriage, building up her self-esteem became a top priority.

Be supportive

One of the key areas I really needed to focus on with regards to saving my marriage was to be much more supportive of my spouse. I had foolishly taken her strengths and self-confidence for granted. I didn’t realize just how much she longed for my support, comfort and reassurance

Saving my marriage became a high priority for me. As I worked on each of these three areas I found that my spouse was responding by giving me more of the same in return. I had been neglecting my marriage for a long time. Hopefully, you will stop neglecting yours and begin taking some powerful steps. For me, it took time and effort, but it was well worth it. I hope it is for you also!