Monday, January 17, 2011

How TO Save A Christian Marriage

A marriage is a union of a man and woman joined together by a sensitive and loving bond. It follows some principles such as to pray together, honor and respect together, give time to communicate with each other, encourage each other for progress together, honor and protect the marriage vows, avoid extra-marital affairs and thank God for your Mate & the life you live together.

If you are looking for ways on how to save a Christian marriage, then it is important for you to know that Christianity recommends resolving the problems in the marital life and saving a marriage. Faithlessness is not allowed in the Christian marriage and it is considered as a great sin.

There may be some problems in marriage which may be due to extra-martial affairs, adultery, infidelity, physical, verbal or emotional abuse. However, separation or divorce is not recommended in Christian marriage. Divorce can affect the life of both the partners at physical, emotional, financial, legal, spiritual and family levels.

If you are facing the same situation and wondering about how to save a Christian marriage, then you need not worry as you have various options. First of all, you need to talk to your partner and try to understand the problems in your married life. It is always better to seek the solutions by mutual understanding.

If the conflicts in your married life are because of ego, you should give away the ego and take an initiative to resolve the problems. Self-assessment is a very important step to save your marriage. Think about your mistakes and drawbacks and try to improve your behavior and avoid the things that may hurt your partner.

If you are determined to remain with your spouse forever and worried about how to save a Christian marriage, then you should opt for some changes in your behavior. If the problems in your married life are because of lack of communication, start to develop good communication between you and your partner. You should spend some time with each other and go for outing. You should express an intense passion for your partner because if you are successful in developing love for each other, then other problems can be immediately solved.

Infidelity is strictly prohibited in Christian marriage. You should avoid the extra-marital affair, if how to save a Christian marriage is your query. You should be very honest with your spouse and should completely trust him/her. If your partner is abusive, try to understand him/her and understand the causes of misbehavior of your spouse and find out the solutions for that.

If you are not able to resolve the problems, then you may seek advice from your friends, family or religious leader. Christianity as a religion preaches fidelity and if necessary you can take the help of religious leaders from the church to counsel you or your spouse about what the bible has to say. This is one of the best ways on how to save a Christian marriage. You may offer the prayers to the God to save your marriage.

Many couples prefer to participate in marriage counseling which can help the couples to improve their communication skills, find out their differences and clear all misunderstandings.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Help Save My Marriage

If your spouse has done something which has left you feeling extremely betrayed or very hurt, and now your marriage is in crisis. Despite the hurt, you may be wondering to yourself, “Is there anything that can help save my marriage?” If you are feeling this way, you are definitely not alone. Many people struggle with that very thought every day.

In order to get your marriage back on track though, you must start with yourself. While you may very well have reason to feel angry or hurt, if you really want someone to respond to your plea to “help save my marriage”, you are going to have to look within. Because if you are like so many people, your reaction to your spouse’s behavior, whatever it was he or she did, can play a significant role in whether or not your marriage survives.

Following are three tips for what NOT to do if your marriage is in crisis and you want to save it:

“Help Save My Marriage” – Tip 1

Don’t play the victim. It’s really easy to get into victim-mode when your spouse has wronged you. Perhaps he gambled away some of your savings, or slept with another woman. Serious issues, yes. But acting like a victim or getting caught up in self pity will only make matters worse. Not only will it make you even less desirable to your spouse, you will lose his respect as well as the respect of others.

Instead, make the choice to be a survivor. What that means, is that you take responsibility for how you behave and react in response to whatever it is that happened. You can change what happened, but you do have a choice in how your handle it.

“Help Save My Marriage” – Tip 2

Don’t hold onto to your anger. If you truly want the chance for your relationship to heal, you must be willing to let go of your anger and find a way to forgive. It can be difficult, no doubt, but you really need to do it for you. Often people think that forgiveness is for the other person, but it is more for the person who is forgiving. Holding onto anger not only takes an incredible amount of energy, it also keeps you stuck.

Also, when you forgive your spouse it does not mean that you forget what happened nor does it mean you are indicating in any way that his or her behavior was acceptable. What it does mean is that you are willing to move forward and get past it. When you make this choice, it takes away the power the situation had over you. You will then be free to put your energy into repairing the relationship.

“Help Save My Marriage” – Tip 3

Don’t judge and condemn your spouse. When you have been deeply hurt or betrayed in your marriage it can be easy to take on a self-righteous stance and judge your partner harshly. What you need to remember is that we are all susceptible to doing things we never imagined if we are put in the right situation. For example, you might think “I would never cheat on my spouse”. But many people who do have affairs also truly believed they would never do that.

If you truly want the answer to your burning question, “Is there anything that can help save my marriage?” you really must avoid becoming judge and jury in the relationship. You have made mistakes too and the more you can try to understand your spouse’s feelings and behavior rather than condemn it, the better chance you have of healing your relationship and making it stronger than ever.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Problems with Marriage

If you are experiencing problems with marriage, trust me, you are not alone. That being said, you may feel alone as you try to figure out the real issues and find a way to resolve them. And in many situations, that is easier said than done. But it is not impossible.

Many problems with marriage begin with unrealistic expectations on the part of one or both partners. This is particularly typical of people who get married when they are quite young or have not had previous long-term relationships. Unrealistic expectations inevitably lead to frustration, and can also lead to anger and disappointment. Perhaps some of the challenges facing your marriage are due to impossible expectations about the relationship or your partner. Let’s look at a few unrealistic myths which can lead to problems with marriage…

Hollywood Romance

Hollywood is the great perpetuator of romantic fantasy. After all, that’s what sells. Wouldn’t it be great if all marriages were as perfect or as exciting as they are often portrayed on television or in the movies? After all, doesn’t everyone’s husband leave a trail of rose petals leading to the bedroom, where there are at least 100 candles burning and another 5 dozen rose’s worth of petals strewn on the bed? (Seriously, where does anyone store that many candles?)

This fantasy idea that it should always be incredibly romantic can create problems with marriage. The reality is quite different. This doesn’t mean the romance has to end after “I do”, but it probably isn’t going to be quite as glamorous or extreme as it is in the movies.

Perfect Partner

It can be a brutal wake-up call when you realize one morning that the person you married isn’t as perfect as you thought. People who get married without really taking the time to know each other are particularly vulnerable to the problems with marriage which arise when they finally see the other person, warts and all, and realize that they have all sorts of flaws and short-comings.

Most people put their best foot forward in the early stages of a relationship. And some can hide their faults for quite a long time. To avoid problems with marriage like this really requires that you take the relationship slowly and don’t put your significant other on a pedestal. He or she will fall off at some point. You can bet on it.

Happily Ever After

Fairy tales are great for kids, but at some point, we have to recognize them for what they are: fantasy. While Cinderella and Prince Charming blissfully disappeared into the castle at the end of the story, we never got to see what happened inside those towering walls a few years down the road. No doubt a glass slipper or two got shattered when one of them was upset!

Marriage is not always happy and peaceful. That would be great but it is not reality. Conflict is going to occur. You are not going to agree on everything and in fact, you may find that you disagree on several things. That’s okay, if you are mature enough to recognize and appreciate that you are two separate individuals with different perspectives, values, preferences, needs and feelings. Once you can accept that, your problems with marriage will be a lot less challenging.

Don’t lose heart if you are experiencing problems with marriage. Check your expectations to see if perhaps they need to be altered a bit. Many couples find that by changing their expectations so that they are better aligned with reality, many problems will subside. If they don’t, then it is time to look deeper. But most problems can be overcome if both of you are willing to put in the effort.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Help To Save My Marriage

Marriage problems can sometimes be stressful and difficult to overcome for everyone. It is very painful to know that you are losing the person you deeply love. However, you may have an opportunity to do something and save your marital relationships. First of all, what you should do is to understand the problems in marriage and its reasons. Once you come to know about it, you will be able to overcome them. If you are thinking of seeking other’s help to save my marriage, you should first try to do it with some honest efforts along with your partner.

When you realize that the problems in your married life are increasing, you get disturbed and your mind cries out help to save my marriage. But don’t make your partner to know that your have got terrified and panic, remain calm and think about how to control the situation. You should first try to solve the problems and conflicts in your married life before let other people know about it.

Good communication between the couple is very essential to understand each other. If they openly talk with each other about the problems and differences, it may help to clear the misunderstandings and conflicts.

After you talk with each other and still feel that it doesn’t work, then you can seek advice from your family, friends or religious leaders. If you think that your communication is not enough to save your relationships and you strongly wish to do it, you may take help of other people you trust and say- help to save my marriage.

Your family or friends might help you understand the problems and give some suggestions about how to solve them. You may realize your mistakes after talking with them and can try to correct them. You can observe the marital relationships of others and make some improvement in yourself. Your family and friends may advise you about the emotional and behavioral changes which may prove beneficial one. But, before applying any advice into practice, you should confirm about whether the advice is appropriate or not as any wrong advice can destroy the relationships.

If you are still not satisfactory, you can try for marriage counseling. You may go to counselor’s office and request him-help to save my marriage. Both the partners should attend the counseling which can be an effective tool to improve their relationships. The couples should openly discuss about their marriage problems to get an appropriate solution. Marriage counseling could help the couples to improve their communication skills, help to uncover some other problems or issues, find out the differences and understand the troubles.

It offers a good opportunity to the couples to share their feelings and helps to clear the misunderstanding. Many people are found to be successful in resolving their marriage problems after participating in couple retreats or marriage seminars.

If someone comes to you and say help to save my marriage, you will be able to give him/her good suggestions about resolving the problems and saving their married life.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Online Relationship Counseling

Considering the popularity of the internet, as well as technology which allows online chat, video, MP3 recordings, etc, it is not surprising that more and more people are seeking online relationship counseling. Whether you are wanting help with dating issues, seeking help to cope with a break up, or having marital problems for which you need some advice, online relationship counseling may be a viable option for you if you are unable to find a therapist locally, or if you just want the ease and convenience of getting counseling right in the comfort of your own home.

More and more mental health professionals are offering their services via the internet. For professionals who choose to only offer online relationship counseling, this can save them the overhead costs of having an office, and also allow them to expand their practice to clients they might not otherwise be able to see in person. Of course, it is imperative that they work within the bounds of their expertise and adhere to any limitations of their license, such as location of their clients as most licenses are specific to a given state.

So how does online relationship counseling work? To some degree, that will depend on the particular professional or group who is offering the service, but many function very similarly to traditional face to face counseling. The main difference being the medium in which the counseling is delivered. Online options usually include email, online chat via typed text or audio with a microphone, or video sessions using a web cam and microphone. The majority also provide counseling via telephone.

While some do offer free online relationship counseling, most do require that you pay for your sessions, just as you would for the same services in person. And while the fees may vary, typically they are going to be about the same amount you would pay to see a therapist in his or her office. One of the advantages in terms of fees when using this medium is that many online therapists have the option of short sessions or consultations, in addition to the traditional 50 minute to one hour sessions that are standard with most mental health professionals.

Before pursuing any type of online relationship counseling, it is important that you have some way of verifying the credentials and training of the therapist you will be working with. The internet is fraught with scams, so be sure the therapist discloses his or her first and last name, the type of degree (e.g., M.A., PsyD, PhD, MD, etc.) and the school from which he or she graduated. Also, they should disclose their licensure status. With this information you can easily verify whether or not the information they provide is accurate or not by contacting the school and licensing board.

Before you start with any particular online therapist you also want to find out the person’s particular areas of experience and expertise. If you are seeking help for marriage problems, for example, then it is best to obtain help from someone who specializes in or at least has experience helping married couples with their issues.

Mental health services which are available via the internet are not limited to relationship counseling. Many professionals can provide help for other issues as well including substance abuse, family therapy, career guidance, as well as specific disorders such as depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, PTSD and many others.

If you are struggling with issues in your marriage or other relationships, online relationship counseling is definitely an alternative you may want to consider. It is worth looking into if you live in a remote area where qualified professionals are either limited or are too far away, or if you just prefer the convenience the internet can provide.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

5 Ways To Save a Marriage

Marriage is one of the happiest and memorable moments in our lives. It is a union of not only two individuals, but also of two different upbringings and cultures. After a cheerful start of married life, there might be a possibility or beginning of some conflicts. These may be due to some misunderstandings, ego or other personal problems. Sometimes the bitterness in the relation crosses the tolerance level that the couples think of getting separated.

However, a divorce affects the personal and social lives of both the partners. You will be surprised to know that your marriage problems can be resolved. Here are 5 ways to save a marriage that can be effectively implemented in your married life.

The first step to resolve the marriage problems is to agree that they exist. You should be honest with yourself, should be able to identify the differences in your relationships and try to improve them. If your try to go away from the issues, they will never be solved. Accept the situation as it is and be prepared for the challenges which may lie ahead.

It is said that you cannot fight the enemy that you cannot see. This philosophy is absolutely true in case of marriages. If you feel that your husband has changed the way of interaction, then find out the reasons behind it. The best solution is to start the conversation with your spouse and give him several opportunities to ‘open up’. Keep your ears and mind open for the subtle hints from his conversation.

Saving your marriage is not merely solving the problems. Reigniting your love for each other is one of the effective 5 ways to save a marriage. You can express your passion for your partner with special dates or surprises. Remember the most romantic times you spent together and recreate them with an addition of a unique approach.

Give some time for each other to share the feelings. The purpose is to grab the attention of your partner and make your relationships healthy with natural attraction. If you are successful in developing the passion for each other, then other problems can be immediately solved.

There may be many obstacles when you are trying to fix the relationships. It might be difficult for you to communicate with your husband or you may be facing outside pressures from the family which may prevent you to focus on your goals. Even after facing these barriers, you should be persistent on your aims. If one approach fails, you can try another approach that may work. You should be able to handle the conflicts safely.

One of the important steps among 5 ways to save a marriage is to seek the right advice from your friends and family. You should try to get an expert advice from counseling sessions or books before you take any major decision. A wise advice can save your marriage, while bad advice may ruin it.

Knowing about 5 ways to save a marriage, you would be able to resolve the problems if any in your marriage and live a happy married life.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Counseling for Marriage

Many couples reach a point in their marriage when they feel they are at an impasse. They may have tried to overcome a serious problem or crisis on their own, and realized over time that perhaps getting counseling for marriage problems they are experiencing is a better approach. And while counseling won’t help every marriage, it does help many couples every day. For some marriages, it has not only helped, it has kept the couple from ending up in divorce court.

So, how do you determine if marriage counseling is something you and your spouse should pursue? You may be thinking that there is no way you want to air your dirty laundry in front of a total stranger, no matter how difficult things are right now. You may also be feeling that counseling for marriage is far too expensive. This article will address these two frequent concerns and provide you with some things to consider if you are trying to decide whether to seek professional help for your situation.

I don’t want to talk to a stranger about our problems.

This is a common objection with which many people struggle when the idea of counseling for marriage is being considered. What you need to realize is that one of the reasons marital therapy can be very helpful is because the therapist, as a stranger, is in a neutral and objective position.

If you have tried to talk to or seek advice from family or friends, you have probably found that they are too close to the situation to be helpful. They may have an emotional bias which makes it difficult to keep perspective regarding your situation. This in turn will color any advice they may try to offer. In some cases, talking to family members or close friends can make the situation even worse.

This is one reason why counseling for marriage can be very helpful. Once you start developing a rapport with the therapist, you will likely appreciate how safe it actually feels to discuss your problems with someone who isn’t going to take sides and who can look at your situation from a fresh perspective.

Counseling is too expensive.

Therapy does cost money. You are paying for a highly trained professional to provide a valuable service. However, you need to consider how much more expensive getting a divorce will be. For the cost of a divorce, not to mention all the pain and grief that often accompany it, counseling for marriage is usually much less expensive – in fact, often by thousands of dollars. When you look at it like this you may reconsider the objection that you can’t afford it. And there may be some options if finances are truly an issue.

In many cities there are clinics which offer counseling services for a reduced fee either based on income qualifications, or because the therapists are graduate students under supervision. Also, you don’t necessarily have to go weekly. You may be able to go every other week, which will make counseling for marriage more affordable for you as you reduce the overall monthly cost by spreading the appointments out a bit.

Both of these objections to counseling for marriage are very common. You are not alone if they have crossed your mind. But if your marriage has reached a crisis point hopefully you will carefully weigh the alternatives if you do not get some help.