Showing posts with label saving a marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label saving a marriage. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Save A Marriage Retreat

Are you feeling that your marital relationship is getting boring? Then do something immediately, or your marriage might be in trouble. There are numerous factors that may affect your married life such as broken trust, infidelity, poor communication, lack of appreciation, absence of sex and affection and boredom.

Boredom is one of the important factors to worsen your marital relations which may affect your emotional and physical attachment with your partner resulting in conflicts and perhaps in separation.

At the beginning of a married life, everything is new and fascinating for both the partners. As the days pass away, it becomes just like a routine-no attraction, no affection. Once you get busy with your daily routine and your work, it may become difficult for you to spend time with each other and it may give rise to some misunderstandings, conflicts and bitterness. If it crosses the limits, the couples start to think of getting separated.

However, before you take any final decision, you should try to resolve the problems in your married life, because separation/divorce is not good for the sake of emotional, physical and social status of both the partners as well as for their children.

There are numerous options you may try to save your marriage. Before you discuss about it with your family or friends, you can yourself try to solve these problems. The first action you should take is to find out the problems and their reasons. If you come to know that the problems are originated from boredom, then it can be easily solved. The main reason behind this problem is that most people are not able to give enough time for each other.

When you are dealing with this problem, first of all you should plan to spend some time with each other. However, it may be bit difficult in your busy schedule. A good solution for that is to keep aside some time and go for outing which you may call as save a marriage retreat. You may plan to go to any tranquil place for long-term vacation and recall the pleasant moments that you had spent together in your early married life.

When deciding on a retreat to save a marriage, select the serene and charming spot so that you may forget the stress in your busy metro life and focus on your relationships. This committed time gives you an opportunity to express your feelings about your partner and make him/her realize that how much you need his/her in your life.

You may write the romantic poems, sing the love-songs for your partner. A continuous proximity with your partner may help you to develop a deep love for him/her. Once you are successful in developing love, other problems will be immediately solved.

The main advantage of a retreat is that it offers a unique opportunity of self-assessment. You may think about your behavior and qualities and find out your mistakes. When you will judge yourself, you will come to know about your drawbacks and understand what you should do to meet to the expectations of your partner. You will find a good communication between you and your partner which may result in meaningful changes in your relationships.

A retreat to save your marriage is truly a wonderful option to improve your marital relationships and to make your married life full of pleasure and enjoyment.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Save A marriage Colorado Springs

Today, most people agree an importance of marriage and intend to save their marital relationships. Many people are finding their marriage to be in trouble in the second most populous city of Colorado Springs in Colorado. The problems in married life may be due to absence of love, no sex, abusive partner, infertility, unfaithful partner, lack of communication and financial problems. Sometimes, these problems may be beyond the tolerance and the couples may wish to get a divorce.

It takes years to build a relationship but a simple mistake to break it at a fraction of a moment; you need not worry if you are looking to save a marriage, Colorado Springs has many counseling houses meant for resolving the problems in married life and maintaining the progressive interpersonal relationships

Whenever the conflicts in married life cross the tolerance limits, the couples try to resolve the problems before taking any harsh decision, as a separation is stressful for both the partners and their children. They first try to manage this problem by talking with each other or with their family or friends. If the problem still persists, the couples may go for the marriage counseling. If you are not from this city and wish to save a marriage, Colorado Springs city’s counseling houses offer even online facilities.

The couples and families in Colorado Springs often look for a licensed counselor to seek the counseling. The counseling bureaus in this city are well-known for their skilled and experienced staff. In order to save a marriage, Colorado Springs has numerous therapists, counselors and psychiatrists who offer confidential treatments, advice, support, stabilization services, case management, evaluation and responsive services.

They are with psychology background and are licensed by the state. While selecting the licensed counselor, you should keep in mind the background, psychology education, affiliations and experience of the counselor. The licensed counselors can be found in the community by searching in the local phone book or checking the online directory listings.

The counseling professionals can help the couples regarding the career, family services, marriage services, marriage help, health issues, mental health issues, related to divorce, depression, anger management and substance abuse.

Marriage counseling contributes a lot to prevent the divorce and maintain the healthy relationships by resolving the conflicts, improving the interpersonal relationships, overcoming the differences and reconstructing the marriage. Various counseling sessions are organized which may offer good opportunity to the couples to share their feelings and help to clear the misunderstanding.

The purpose of counseling involves resolving the problems in married life, sex therapy, couples therapy, relationship counseling and family therapy. It offers the opportunities for the personal growth, self-assessment as well as spiritual and emotional healing. Self-assessment helps to find out your own mistakes and solutions to correct them.

It also helps to find out the differences between the couples and ways to overcome them. Marriage counseling program offers professional help in areas such as assertiveness skills, controlling the anger, overcoming the differences and anxiety, improvement in the communication skills, conflict resolution skills and listening skills.

You would not have to go far if you want to take someone’s advice to save a marriage, Colorado Springs itself presents a variety of ways to get the proper guidance.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Online Marriage Counseling Free

When money is tight, many couples who are experiencing marital problems may desperately seek alternative ways to get “professional” help, such as online marriage counseling. Free of charge is very appealing, but there are many things which should be taken into consideration before relying on the vast number of resources you can find online to help your flailing marriage.

When it comes to online marriage counseling, free services ranging from “e-courses” to actual direct email interaction with a therapist may be available depending on the resource. And like anything online, the quality of what you are getting for free (or even for a price) can vary greatly. But if you approach it as a resource similar to purchasing a book on the topic of helping you with marriage problems, then there can be some benefit to be gained.

So let’s look a little further at what you may find in terms of online marriage counseling. Free e-courses, as mentioned above, are often available from various resources. Usually you just sign up for these and they are delivered to your email box. Most of these will be delivered to your email over a period of time. For example, you may receive one “lesson” every few days. This gives you time to digest the information rather than read through the entire course in one sitting. Depending on who wrote them, they may contain some very helpful information and exercises which you can apply to your particular situation. Again, this is similar to using a book as a help guide.

Some sites also offer complete eBooks which you can download to your computer as soon as you sign up. Similar to e-courses, some of these can also give you some good information. Don’t expect them to be as comprehensive or thorough as a book you would purchase at a bookstore. The nature of eBooks is that they are relatively short, usually anywhere from 30 to 100 pages with large font. EBooks and e-courses are often a primary part of any online marriage counseling. Free resources such as these may be better than nothing when finances are tight.

Where things start to get questionable, in terms of ethics, competence and confidentiality are when individuals or companies claim to offer actual “therapy” via email. With the rapidly growing popularity of the Internet as a primary resource for just about everything, it is no surprise that you can find actual online marriage counseling. Free email interaction with a therapist or counselor is offered by some online sources.

Email, by its very nature, has limited confidentiality. And it may be difficult to verify whether or not the therapist is truly competent or is even actually trained or licensed. This is where you really need to be wary. Also, before you engage in any actual free counseling or therapy via the internet, be sure to do your due diligence to determine if the person has the appropriate credentials and qualifications to be helping you.

These are just a few things to consider if you feel you and your spouse need professional help for your marriage and you are considering online marriage counseling. Free services may be very appealing, but you may not be getting what you think. Use it with caution, if at all. The e-courses and eBooks may have some good food for thought, but if your marriage is in a serious crisis, it is better to find a way to see a local therapist with whom you can interact face to face as you work through the issues in your marriage.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Stop Divorce

The odds are one out of two that your marriage will end up in a divorce. At least, that is what the statistics say. But statistics do not have to determine whether or not divorce happens to you. Deep down, many people really prefer to stop divorce from happening to their marriage. Before you file for divorce you may want to ask yourself some tough questions to determine if a plan to stop divorce is a much better alternative.

Do I really want to walk away from this marriage?

This first question may seem rather obvious on the surface, but not everyone truly takes the time to search their soul before signing divorce papers. If there has been a lot of anger or other strong emotions present in the marriage, it can cloud your thinking and lead you to make decisions that aren’t always in your best interest. If you want to stop divorce, you must set your emotions aside, at least temporarily, and try to gain some perspective on the situation. Often, if a couple can address the issue underlying the emotional pain, the healing of the relationship can begin.

What will I lose if I divorce my spouse?

If your marriage has been in crisis for a long time and you are considering divorce, you likely have thought more about how much better off you will be by getting out of the marriage. Unfortunately, many people don’t realize what they had until it is gone. Rather than thinking how much better it may be, think long and hard about what you will lose if you divorce your spouse.

Most likely there was a lot of good in your marriage. We tend to forget the good times when we are upset, angry, bitter, resentful, or hurt. Those emotions cloud everything and blind us to all the good things we have in our life. Try to set aside all the negative things which you are sure you won’t miss, and make a list of all the good things you will lose if you don’t stop divorce from happening. You might be surprised at the answers you come up with.

How will this affect our children?

If you have children, you really want to think very carefully about the impact a divorce will have on them. Children often blame themselves when their parents split up. Also, it can significantly disrupt their overall sense of security. And if you are planning to share custody or allow weekend visits, consider the toll that that sort of arrangement will take on your children. To stop divorce may be the best thing you can do for them.

What is this going to cost me in terms of finances, friendship and family? Another very serious question you need to ask yourself before you pursue a divorce is what is the real cost? Many people don’t really know how much they stand to lose until the divorce is final. While financial cost is certainly a factor, the true losses are usually much more painful. You may lose relationships with family members, particularly those of your spouse.

You may also lose friendships. Many people that are currently in your life as a couple may feel the need to choose sides if you don’t stop divorce. If they were initially your spouse’s friends (or family members), chances are they will cool their relationship with you if you go through with the divorce.

Those are just a few of the tough questions you really need to think through before proceeding with a divorce. While divorce may seem like the only solution at the moment, as you answer those questions you may decide that to stop divorce and work on healing your marriage is a far better solution to whatever marital challenges you and your spouse are facing.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Common Marriage Problems

For many couples, there are common marriage problems which often start to creep into the relationship over time. If you are feeling that your marriage isn’t what it should be, or what you thought it would be when you first walked down the aisle, you are not alone. Millions of couples grapple with relationship issues, often feeling that the problems are unique to their relationship. This can lead to feelings of embarrassment and / or loneliness, when it doesn’t need to.

So let’s take a look at three common marriage problems which many couples find themselves facing. All of these can start out seeming fairly minor, but if they continue over a long time and aren’t dealt with, they can have a very negative impact on a marriage.

Feeling like you have “fallen out of love” with each other

When you were first dating your spouse, and probably even when you stood in front of your family and friends and said your vows, you felt “head over heels in love” with each other. For most couples, that giddy feeling doesn’t last over the years. In fact, for many, once the reality of day to day married life sinks in it starts to fade. Your lives become one of routine, which is perfectly normal. The demands of your work or careers, children and mortgages can take up all of your time and energy. And if you are like some couples, you basically start living like roommates and nothing more. While that scenario is fairly common, marriage problems like this can eventually lead to an affair or a divorce.

Taking each other for granted

Another one of the most common marriage problems is that many couples start taking each other for granted. To some degree, it is human nature to take for granted that which is always there. But in relationships, this can lead to a slow, simmering resentment for one or both of you. Everyone longs to feel loved, cherished, and appreciated. After all, that was a big part of the reason you got married in the first place. No one feels loved when they are taken for granted. When it reaches the point of devaluing each other and failing to regard the relationship as sacred or special, it can be very damaging. Sadly, what often happens is that you don’t even realize just how serious it is until the other person is gone.

Failure to really talk to each other

Poor communication or the failure to really talk to each other is probably one of the most common marriage problems many couples face. Learning to communicate well is a skill many people lack. Others have the skill and may be great communicators in their career, but struggle with communicating with their spouse. This is particularly true if one or both of you grew up in a home where poor communication was the norm. You talk superficially but avoid discussing problems or issues as they arise. Some people just find it easier to avoid any conflict. Unfortunately, this doesn’t work and in time will take a toll on your relationship if something doesn’t change.

If you and your spouse are struggling with any one of these common marriage problems, there is hope. The first step is always acknowledging the problem. The sooner you recognize the problem and take action though, the better!

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Save Marriage Midlife Crisis Husband

Many adults can face the problem known as a ‘mid-life crisis’ which is characterized by emotional, physical and social changes in the middle age, the person may face the reality of waning the physical strength, frustrated vocational goals and unfulfilled personal dreams.

These frustrations can lead to heavy impact on the married life. These problems may arise due to lack of mutual concern for the relationships and absence of communication which may give rise to some problems in marital life. If you wish to save marriage, midlife crisis husband can help in your goal.

Almost every man may face some midlife issues. It is common with the men between the age group of 40 to 50/60 years. How will you identify that the man has a midlife crisis? There are some signs which let you about his midlife crisis. He may start to dress more carefully and youthfully and may get involved in some energetic activities.

He may begin paying more attention towards his appearance, may talk about going on a diet, may join a gym or may dye his hair. He may complain about the appearance of his wife, he may wish to be alone. Many men start to listen to the romantic songs.

Men midlife crisis can destroy the marital relationships. The husband can neglect his wife and her needs. There may be total lack of communication between the husband and wife. It is possible that the husband gets involved in an extra-marital affair. It can give rise to misunderstandings, conflicts and bitterness in married life. When it crosses the limits of tolerance, the couple starts thinking about separation.

Is this happening with you because your husband has a midlife crisis? Then don’t think directly about the separation, be calm and look for the solutions. There are many different ways to overcome the problem of a husband going through a midlife crisis. What you can do is to try to wait till the crisis ends. For this, you may require a lot of patience and tolerance. You can also try some other options to resolve this problem.

To reignite the love between you, spend some time for each other and go for outing away from the family and children. If this problem is because of lack of communication, start to develop good communication between you and your partner.

Your partner should be equally willing to save the marriage and improve the relationships. To save marriage, the husband in a midlife crisis can contribute by changing his approach and by controlling his emotions. He may recall the memories of pleasant days in his early married life and bring those days back with his romantic behavior.

He should try not to hurt his wife by making embarrassing comments about her appearance or behavior. Try to enjoy the pleasant moments in your married life. In order to save marriage midlife crisis husbands may face can be considered to find effective solutions to your problems.

There are various factors you will have to consider changing when you are trying to save a marriage with a husband going through a midlife crisis, extra marital interests, weekend and day trips, are sure to help rekindle the marriage.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Save Marriage Book

While a good save marriage book can’t do all the things that working with a live therapist can, it can still provide help for couples who can’t afford therapy but are unable to work through their issues on their own. Self help books are very popular, and if you are willing to do the work, they can be a very good guide for you and your spouse if your marriage is in crisis.

Go to the self help section of any bookstore and you will quickly see that there are a lot of books on the topic of marriage. You should be able to find a save marriage book which will be helpful. But there are some things you should look for in order to get a quality book that won’t end up being a waste of your time and money.

Make sure the author is reputable

Look for a save marriage book written by someone who preferably has training and credentials that qualify him or her as a relationship expert. For example, look for authors who have either a master’s degree or doctorate in psychology, counseling, social work, or psychiatry. While education isn’t everything, someone with the appropriate training is generally a better choice than someone who has none. Usually there will be the following credentials after their name: PhD, PsyD, MD, MA or LCSW.

Also, read the book cover or anywhere in the book where it gives a little more information about the author. Of course some authors who are relationship experts are very well known and will often be excellent choices for a save marriage book. Some of the best include Barbara DeAngelis, John Gray and John Gottman to name a few. There are many more, but these individuals are all experts when it comes to marriage and relationships in general.

Choose a book which is thorough, but easy to read

There are several topics which should be included in any good save marriage book. Look through the table of contents to see what areas the author covers. Some very important areas are:

• Communication • Sex • Family issues / Children • Infidelity • Finances • Divorce

Since good communication is essential to a healthy marriage, this is a topic that definitely should be covered in a save marriage book. In fact, communication problems is often the reason many couples don’t have good marriages.

Sex is a very important part of marriage, so if the book doesn’t even talk about this topic, then look for a different one. When sexual needs and desires aren’t met in a marriage, it can lead to significant issues, including infidelity.

Family issues and children are also key topics for a save marriage book. In-laws can often be a point of contention for many couples. Also, if you have children, your marriage problems are definitely affecting them, so be sure the book covers this topic well. Affairs tear apart many marriages, and even if that is not your issue, a marriage with problems is more vulnerable to infidelity. So be sure the book covers this topic. Finances are one of the primary reasons for marriage problems. Disagreements about how to handle money have led many couples to divorce court. Make sure the save marriage book you are considering addresses this topic very thoroughly. Divorce is also a crucial topic. The book should give you some questions to consider to determine whether or not divorce may be a better option for you and your spouse than staying together. While this may not be an option you want to consider, it should still be discussed in the book so you can ask the hard questions regarding this topic. Hopefully you and your spouse will both read the save marriage book you choose and use it as a catalyst for having difficult but important conversations. But even if you have to read it alone, a truly worthwhile book on marriage will give you some valuable advice with regards to what you can do to help your marriage.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Ways To Save Marriage

To maintain a healthy relationship is very important for every individual as it directly affects on your personal life. The main purpose of marriage is to help and support each other through sadness and happiness. After few years of marriage, there might be some misunderstandings and bitterness among the couples which may give rise to conflicts and your married life may become stressful.

It becomes impossible for a couple to live with each other and they start thinking to get separated. However, before taking a final decision, the couple should try to save their relationships as it is quite difficult and boring to live alone. There are several ways to save marriage that may work.

When you realize that your married life is in danger, you start looking for the options to save your marriage. First of all, many couples talk with each other and try to understand the problem. It is the best option to look for the solutions by mutual understanding. The couple should express an intense passion for each other because if you are successful in developing love for each other, then other problems can be immediately solved.

If it doesn’t work and the conflicts continue, then they try some other options. Some couples seek out an advice from the friends, family or religious leaders. But the couple should think over this advice whether it is appropriate or not as wrong advice can destroy the relationships.

Many couples prefer to participate in the marital counseling which may be one of the effective ways to save marriage. Both the partners should attend the counseling which can be an effective tool to improve their relationships. The couples should openly discuss about their marriage problems to get an appropriate solution. Marriage counseling can help the couples to improve their communication skills.

It may also help to uncover some other problems or issues, find out the differences and understand the troubles of couple. It offers a good opportunity to the couples to share their feelings and helps to clear the misunderstanding. Many people are successful in resolving their marriage problems after participating in couple retreats or marriage seminars.

Along with these options, some couples choose a trial marriage separation. It may be among the helpful ways to save marriage to solve the problems as it gives an opportunity to both the partners to experience the feelings of being separated before taking any final decision. The major advantage of trial separation is that it is reversible.

The main purpose of trial separation is to develop the skills of resolving problems before moving back together and working on improving the relationship.

You may adopt one of these ways to save marriage and make your life paradise with your loving partner again.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Save Marriage from Divorce

Considering that the divorce rate has been hovering at or above 50% for a long time now, it is worth putting some very serious thought into ways to save marriage from divorce. Because the couples who fail to do this are the ones most likely to end up as a statistic. If you want to be sure your marriage has the best chance of surviving and not ending up in divorce court, now is the time to pay attention. Following are some very destructive behaviors which need to be avoided if you want to save marriage from divorce.

Keeping score

A marriage is meant to be a true partnership, not a competition in which one or both of you constantly keeps score of what your spouse does or doesn’t do for you. While light-hearted, playful competition is fun, expecting your partner to give you something or do something for you in return for each nice thing you do for him is destructive to the relationship. It creates a power struggle and is usually an attempt to control each other. And it fosters resentment and mistrust; two things that definitely won’t help save marriage from divorce.

For example, if a husband sacrifices a day of golf with his buddies in order to stay home and watch the children while his wife goes shopping, it looks like a kind deed on the surface. However, there is nothing truly kind and giving about it if he holds it over her head as a “debt” when he wants something from her in the future. To save marriage from divorce, doing things for each other must stem from love and caring, not from manipulation, agendas, or “debt”. When that becomes the case, a marriage is in serious trouble.

Nagging at your spouse

Sadly, we learn a lot of unhealthy behaviors from our parents. If you grew up in a home in which one of your parents frequently nagged the other, you may find yourself doing the same thing to your spouse. And I guarantee you your spouse does not like to be nagged.

Nagging is like water constantly dripping on a rock; over time it slowly wears it down. The same thing happens in your marriage when you nag. It slowly pushes your partner away, at least emotionally, creating a rift which can eventually become a chasm too large to repair. If you are prone to nagging, work on stopping this behavior as soon possible to save marriage from divorce.

Verbal abuse

Words can be extremely destructive, particularly in a marriage. If you are prone to losing your temper and saying ugly, hurtful or vicious things to your partner, you need to change this behavior immediately. Verbal abuse will eventually take an emotional toll on your spouse. While you may feel they are “just words” and forget that you even said them a day or two later, your spouse definitely will not forget.

The sting of verbal abuse can go deep, and cruel words can be very difficult to forget for the person who is on the receiving end. If you are having marriage problems and truly want to save marriage from divorce, verbal abuse of any kind must stop immediately.

These are just a few of many things that can eventually tear a couple apart. Each behavior is not only destructive, it is also incredibly disrespectful. If you really desire to have a happy, healthy marriage and save marriage from divorce, ask yourself if you are doing anything destructive to the relationship similar to the above. If so, do whatever it takes to begin to make some changes. Your marriage will definitely benefit if you do!

Friday, April 1, 2011

Tips To Save Marriage

If your married life is in trouble, you should be able to understand the exact problem and then control the situation. Taking any harsh decision might be embarrassing for the personal and social status of the couple.

It doesn’t matter whether you are man or woman, whether you look after the kids or pay the bills, you should take initiative to resolve the problems in married life and maintain the relationships. This article provides information about some tips to save marriage and to maintain a healthy relationship.

If your marriage is in danger, try not to show your partner the tension or desperation you're feeling. It will make him/her feel suffocated and your spouse will push you away. Always try to control your emotions and keep calm.

One thing to remember is that never beg for the return of your partner. Just show the depth of your passion that will make him/her to come back. One of the important tips to save marriage is to give the space to your partner. A little space may make the things much easier to deal with. Give time to do those things which make you feel good and strong about you. Spend some time with your friends and family. Do such things that increase your self-esteem.

Work to find out an area where both the partners can agree and be happy with the decisions. Always remember that the goal of a marriage is to help and support each other through sadness and happiness. Love is an important bridge in a married life that may keep the couple attached together. Show your passion to your partner in a new way everyday. Use romantic competition and games to get closer or you may send a romantic message to your partner.

One of the significant tips to save marriage is that you should understand each other very well. Then only, you will able to solve the problems in your married life without giving rise to conflicts. Your partner should be the first priority for you and you should know about the hobbies and interests of your partner. You can write a romantic poem or prepare a romantic meal or give a romantic gift to your partner.

Avoid continuously complaining about the small issues and try to ignore the unimportant things. If there is any serious issue that you are unsatisfied about, talk about it clearly. Have open discussions about it with your partner. Get ready for facing the challenges.

Jealousy may lead many couples to the divorce court. Hence, don’t ever be jealous about the professional and personal progress of your partner. Be honest to your partner and always have a strong belief in him/her.

If your partner is aggressive, you should be calm and keep your emotions in control. Be reasonable, rational and calm. Whenever you lose your temper during the arguments, you generally tend to say and do the things that you actually didn’t mean.

If your marriage is going bad, these tips to save marriage might be useful to bring it back to its previous loving partnership.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Marriage and Family Counseling

If you are having some difficulties in your marriage, or perhaps your family is in crisis, marriage and family counseling can be very beneficial. While it may initially seem a bit uncomfortable to discuss your problems with a total stranger, if you find a therapist which is a good fit and is good at what he or she does, you will very likely be glad you decided to make the investment.

Keep in mind, though, that for marriage and family counseling to be helpful, you have to be willing to make some changes in your life. It won’t be helpful if you merely use it as a place to vent or if you expect the therapist to do all of the work for you. Nor will it be helpful unless you each take responsibility for your contribution to the problem or issue at hand, because rarely is a problem entirely due to one person.

Following are some of the many ways in which marriage and family counseling can help, if you are ready and willing to do some work.

Improve communication

Poor communication or lack of communication is often at the core of most marital problems, as well as family problems. We all grew up learning ways to communicate, but we didn’t necessarily learn to do it effectively. When things are going well, talking is easy. But the true test of good communication is when there is conflict.

In marriage and family counseling, the therapist can help you find ways to communicate better with each other. This not only includes learning how to better express things such as needs, wants, or concerns, but also how to better listen to each other. Conflict is normal whenever two or more people live in the same household.

Unfortunately a lot of couples and families do not handle conflict well, and even relatively minor problems can quickly escalate. As a result they become seemingly insurmountable issues when communication completely breaks down or becomes hostile. Improving communication is the core of dealing effectively with all other issues.

Learn to choose your battles

Marriage and family counseling can also really help you learn to choose your battles. Life is going to be full of stressful and irritating things. That’s normal. But where many couples and families get into trouble is when they let everything become a huge ordeal. A good therapist can help you determine what the real issues are, while helping your learn to recognize which ones really aren’t a big deal. Learning this will go a long way towards a more peaceful home environment.

Create new patterns of interaction

As humans, we are creatures of habit. As a result we get into patterns of interacting with our spouse and family members which can be unhealthy. At times, they can even be destructive and hurtful. Sometimes we don’t even realize the damage we are doing until someone objective, such as a therapist, points it out.

Marriage and family counseling is geared towards creating new and healthier ways of interacting with each other. As the saying goes, if you keep doing the same thing you will keep getting the same result. But a skilled therapist can show you better ways to get the desired result in your relationship.

Hopefully you can see how marriage and family counseling might be very beneficial. Every couple and family has occasional struggles. Going to a therapist doesn’t mean you are weak or a failure. Rather, it shows that you recognize the need for change and that you desire some assistance in making that happen.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Save Your Marriage At All Costs

Every individual dreams about the happy and long-lasting married life. However, after a cheerful start of married life, there may be rise of some conflicts and bitterness. The couple starts to fight with each other for simple reasons. Sometimes the bitterness crosses the limits of tolerance and both the partners find it difficult to live with each other.

As a result, they tend to think of getting separated. Before taking any final decision, you should think about the consequences of separation. If you realize the importance of marriage, you may think wisely to save your marriage at all costs.

Marriage is considered as a lifelong bond which brings a man and a woman together and makes their relationships strong. It has a great importance in the life of every human being as it gives personal and social stability. Marriage is also necessary to satisfy your emotional and physical needs. In some countries, living a single is not accepted by the society and a person living alone does not get social status. The person having a successful married life gets social prestige. Marriage makes the life of human being a complete one.

It is not easy for a man or a woman to live alone whole life. You need someone to share your feelings, to help and support you through sadness and happiness. It helps the person to come out of hectic lifestyle and enjoy some wonderful moments in the life. It is a pleasant feeling that the person you love the most is always with you.

For the women, it is not just living together, but it offers secure and prestigious status in the society. Besides that, the marriage is also necessary to carry on the lineage of the family. Hence, although there are some problems in your married life, always try to save your marriage at all costs.

Separation may give rise to the personal, psychological and economical problems for both the partners. You may lose your social and economical stability after the separation. In some countries, separation is allowed according to religion. Breaking of a marriage is not good for the sake of children.

Separation of the parents may leave adverse psychological effects on the tender minds of children as they love and need both the parents equally. The children may get mentally and physically disturbed, due to which their future may get spoiled. Hence, you should try to save your marriage at all costs.

Once you decide to save your marriage at all costs, you should work on finding out the ways to resolve the problems in your married life. The first important step that you should take is to find out the reasons of conflicts. When you come to know about that, you can find the solutions and may try various options. You can try to solve the marital problems by talking with each other.

You should express an intense passion for each other because if you are successful in developing love for each other, then other problems can be immediately solved. You may take advice from your friends or family and can take the help of marriage counseling.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Save Marriage Tips

If you are having difficulty in your marriage, then you are probably desperately looking some helpful save marriage tips before things get any worse. Many marriages can be saved, but you need to be willing to look at ways in which you may be contributing to the problems. After all, the only person over whom you have any control in the relationship is you.

Following are three save marriage tips to consider if your marriage is starting to fall apart.

Don’t always put the children first

Many couples, and women in particular, believe that once they have children, the children should come first and foremost. While this is true to some degree, as children are a gift and should be treated as such, you need to be careful to not put them above your marriage. In other words, your spouse needs to be your highest priority.

You may think this first of three save marriage tips is unreasonable. After all, good parents put their children above all else, right? Wrong. When children take a much higher priority than the relationship and the marriage suffers, then the children suffer also. And in some cases, they suffer tremendously. One of the greatest gifts you can give your children is the chance to grow up in a truly happy home. And the core of a happy home is a loving, healthy marriage.

Providing this for your children will help their self esteem, their emotional wellbeing, and their sense of security. Love and cherish your children, but do the same for you spouse and keep him or her a priority in your life. This is invaluable when it comes to save marriage tips.

Don’t become a workaholic

Career demands can be intense. And at times they can be overwhelming and take up far more time than you like. But if you put all your time and energy into your job and leave nothing for your spouse, your marriage is going to be in trouble as a result.

Men are particularly guilty of this, especially if they are the primary breadwinner in the family. But with more and more women assuming that role, or at least having high-powered, demanding careers themselves, the problem can go either way. Making sure you don’t become a workaholic is one of the most important save marriage tips there is. Lots of couples end up divorcing because one spouse feels the other is married to his or her job. Over time that will take a severe toll.

Pay close attention to your spouse’s needs

The last of the three save marriage tips is to make sure you are taking care of your spouse’s needs. One of the goals of marriage is to meet each other’s needs in many areas, at least to a significant degree. Your spouse’s intimacy and sexual needs, as well as his or her need to feel significant and needed are important needs for you to meet.

It’s so easy for two people to get so busy (with work and kids as discussed above) that their spouse gets neglected in the process. Your spouse may slowly come to resent you. Even worse, he or she may look to find someone else to meet those needs. You must pay attention, and talk to your partner. The more you each discuss your personal needs with each other, the more readily you can fulfill them.

While the list of save marriage tips could go on and on, these are three particularly important ones which can help any couple. If you truly want to save your marriage, then consider if any of the above are the underlying issue.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Save Our Marriage

Married couples often go through a period of time when they think the relationship may be starting to unravel. If you and your spouse are in this situation, you are probably looking for solutions to the common question, “how can I save our marriage?”. While every couple is different, there are some key things which are practically universal when it comes to keeping a marriage together.

If you are worried about your relationship and wondering to yourself, “how can I save our marriage?”, then please keep reading. This article will help you to understand 4 basic needs that should be met, at least to a significant degree, in a marriage. If your marriage is in trouble, then at least one or more of these needs is not being met. Work on these if you long to answer the question of “what can I do to save our marriage”.

The need to be loved

Everyone has the basic human need for love. Without it, life is empty and lonely. For many people, just knowing they are loved and cherished by one key person, often a spouse, but it could also be a friend or family member, is incredibly empowering. Being loved can give strength, inspiration, and purpose. It is imperative when it comes to knowing how you can “save our marriage” that you truly show your spouse that he or she is loved.

The need to feel significant

In a world with over 6 billion people, it is pretty easy to feel insignificant. When two people get married, there is often an amazing sense of being truly significant and special to one another. Like love, this feeling of significance can be energizing and empowering. Feeling significant gives a person a sense of specialness. Even if no one else notices, you know that your spouse knows how special and unique you are. If “how can I save our marriage” is your concern, then you need to ask yourself if you are treating your spouse as someone who is truly significant to you. Are you meeting that need?

The need for intimacy

We all have a deep need and longing for intimacy. Marriage is a sacred place for both physical and emotional intimacy to be shared between you and your spouse. When you are intimate, you shut out the rest of the world and share a closeness and bond that is very powerful. Intimacy is that sense of connection which we all long for. If you hope to “save our marriage”, then you must allow that vulnerability with your spouse that is part of true intimacy. If either of you are guarded, or refuses to let the other person in, then this need cannot be fully met.

The need to be your authentic self

Unfortunately we live in a world in which we often feel we must put on a façade or persona. This is particularly true in our work but may also be true in many other areas of our life. Few people are secure enough to fully be themselves with others. But the one place which should be safe to be authentic is a marriage. As with intimacy, if one or both of you feel you must be guarded, and can’t truly be yourself, it will hinder your relationship in many ways.

The strongest and healthiest marriages are those in which both people can be truly authentic with each other. In order for you to find the best way to “save our marriage”, you must find a way to eliminate any barriers in your relationship which inhibit either of you from truly being yourself with the other.

When these four basic human needs are being met within your marriage, you will no longer need to wonder “how can I save our marriage”. Your marriage will thrive and be stronger than ever.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Help for Marriage

Quite often when couples are seeking help for marriage, it is because their marriage is starting to crumble. It may be that one spouse has been unfaithful. It may also be because there has been a significant amount of conflict, often turning into awful fights. Other times it may be because you have slowly grown very distant from each other, and you know if something doesn’t change soon, the marriage is going to unravel altogether.

Fortunately, there is help for marriage if you are both willing to make the commitment to work through the problem, no matter what it is. This can feel impossible at times, particularly if there has been an affair or other type of betrayal. Hurt feelings can go very deep. And one of you may be more reluctant to try to work things out if trust has been damaged.

Many couples do get their marriages back on track, even under pretty challenging circumstances. Sometimes a crisis can be a much needed wake up call, making one or both of you recognize the necessity of getting help for marriage so you can heal the wounds. Quite often, if you can get through the process of healing, you will find that you are closer than ever before.

There are many ways you can show each other that you are truly serious and 100% devoted to making the marriage work. Following are just a few of the ways you can do this:

Make your marriage your number one priority.

Careers, children, volunteer work and other family are certainly all very important parts of each of your lives. But when you have reached a crisis point and need help for marriage, you must first be willing to put your marital relationship above everything else in your life.

All too often work and children get all your time and energy and there is simply nothing left for the marriage. Sadly, your children will suffer as a result. You owe it to them to have a happy, healthy marriage to make them feel secure and to give them good role models. And, the happier your marriage, the happier home life will be for your children.

Be open to marriage counseling if needed

Sometimes couples get stuck and simply can’t work it out without some outside help for marriage. While marital therapy isn’t right for everyone, it is definitely worth trying. A skilled marriage counselor can help you find ways to communicate better, break unhealthy patterns and develop new ones, and put things in a new perspective.

If your spouse feels a strong need for the two of you to get counseling, show your commitment by being willing to give it a try. If you are unwilling to go, that will likely convey that you aren’t truly committed to the marriage after all. Your spouse may feel resentment, and there will be even more problems in your relationship.

Make a commitment to focus on everything you love and appreciate about each other.

When you need help for marriage, remember the saying “what you focus on expands”. This is very true in relationships. If you focus on your spouse’s faults, you will end up bringing out the worst in him. If you want to bring out the best in someone, you must frequently show appreciation for the qualities you really value. In turn, your spouse will be more inclined to show those qualities more.

These are just three ways to show commitment to your marriage. While there are many more ways, these three will go along way when you need help for marriage. The more commitment each of you shows, the more motivated you will be to work together on your relationship.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Save Your Relationship After Cheating

Cheating of one or both partners can strongly affect your martial relationship. An extra-marital affair is a heart-breaking and embarrassing situation for both the partners and indicates the failure of companionship and married life. The most important base of any marriage is trust and faith which may get weakened due to the extra-marital affair.

It may give rise to the marital problems like conflicts and bitterness which when crosses the limits can result in separation. However, separation is a very painful and stressful situation for both the partners; you should try to save your relationships after cheating.

It may be very painful and hurting for you if you come to know that your partner is cheating you. But, don’t get frustrated or panic at such situations, remain calm and try to control the situation. Think about how you can handle this situation and find out the ways to save your relationships after cheating.

It is quite obvious that you get angry with your partner, but cool down and try to know why your partner is cheating you. In most cases, the reason of cheating is not that the partner who is cheating has no emotional feelings, but it may be due to his/her physical need. In such situation, you can grab the attention of your partner with your intense love.

Whatever may be the reason of cheating, ‘forgive and forget’ is an important key factor to save your relationships after cheating. When you realize that you have been cheated by your partner, talk to him/her about it openly and find out about his/her willing to save the marriage and try to understand your partner’s approach about it. Express your love for your partner and make him/her realize how much you need him/her. If you get the positive response from your partner, then forgive him/her and say ‘Let’s make a new start’.

If you are successful in developing a deep love for each other, then this problem can be easily solved. The important step you should take to save your relationships after cheating is to find out your drawbacks and mistakes. Take efforts to improve your personality and behavior and avoid doing the things by which your partner gets hurt.

Plan to spend the vacation with your partner and go for outings. Give time for each other, improve the communication between you, try to find out the differences between you and overcome them.

If you are your partner who is cheating, then you should equally contribute and take efforts to save the marriage. You should promise to end your affair and be loyal with your partner. Your body language is significant when you are saying ‘sorry’ to your partner.

If your partner is ready to forgive you and forget the bitterness, you should respond him/her in a positive way. You should also express deep love for your partner and make him/her know how much you need your partner and how incomplete you are without him/her. This will surely work and you will be able to reignite love in your partner’s mind.

When both of you take the efforts to save your relationships after cheating is not difficult, you will be successful to improve your relationships and live happily together.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Saving a Marriage

Many couples go through very challenging periods of time when they start wondering what can be done with regards to saving a marriage. Perhaps that is happening to you and you are desperately looking for some advice. While there are no simple answers, and each situation and marriage is different, following are some two things you can consider changing if your marriage is in crisis. While they might seem simplistic on the surface, even small changes can make a big difference when it comes to saving a marriage.

Not showing appreciation for your spouse

Sometimes we get so caught up in the busy-ness of our day to day lives that we forget to appreciate the things which are really important to us. This happens frequently in marriages, especially when two people have been together a long time. One or both people in the marriage fail to recognize just how lucky they really are to have each other until one ends up leaving or a tragedy happens. Sadly, saving a marriage at that point is going to be much more difficult than if this problem is detected and dealt with early on.

Take some time to consider whether or not you are doing this in your marriage. We all long to feel important, valued, and loved. A healthy marriage meets those needs to a significant degree. But if you take your spouse for granted and fail to acknowledge all the wonderful things he or she does, then this may be a contributing factor to your current crisis. Start paying attention to all the things your spouse does for you, as well as all his or her wonderful qualities. Show gratitude and appreciation. Doing this can go a long way towards saving a marriage which is on the brink of falling apart.

Failing to communicate

All relationships require quality communication in order to be healthy or to get back on track when there is a crisis. Many couples fail to really talk openly to each other. Women often make the mistake of presuming their husband can read their mind. Men often try to avoid challenging conversations which feel uncomfortable for them. Over time, a lot of issues which need to be dealt with get swept under the rug but start to fester.

If saving a marriage is truly important to you, it is imperative that you start working on your communication skills with your spouse first. If you grew up in a home in which your parents didn’t really talk to each other, this may be particularly difficult for you. But you can start by being the one to initiate more frequent and open conversations. With practice and effort, you and your spouse can become much more skilled communicators.

Sometimes in order for communication to go smoothly, you need to set some ground rules. For example, a good ground rule is that either of you can indicate when you need a “time out”. Sometimes a discussion can start to get heated and if one of you feels you might say something you will regret, this is the perfect time to step away from the conversation for a short while. You can resume talking later when both of you are calmer.

Showing appreciation and learning to communicate well are two significant steps towards saving a marriage which is struggling or in a crisis. Make the changes in yourself first. This will show your spouse how much you truly care and how important he or she is to you.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

How To Save A Marriage

After few years of marriage some conflicts between the couples may arise and married life may become stressful. How will you come to know that your marriage is in crisis? There are some reasons responsible for disturbed married life such as alcohol abuse, difficulty with children, financial problems, a situation when both the partners are unfaithful, major life changes and problems with fertility.

The marital relationships may be affected by the broken trust, boredom, infidelity, poor communication, lack of appreciation, addictive behavior, emotional abuse, absence of sex and no affection. When the marriage is in trouble, you should try to find out the solutions of how to save a marriage.

When you realize that something is wrong with your married life, don’t just think how to save a marriage, but immediately look for the solution. You try to find out the problems and adopt some qualities to save your marriage and to stop the divorce. There are always some hopes and ways to resolve the problems your marriage. The conflicts in married life may be due to ego or some misunderstandings.

Hence, to maintain healthy relationships, you should give up ego and should take an initiative to resolve the problems in your married life. Self-assessment is a very important step to save your marriage. You should be able to think about your mistakes and develop an improvement in your behavior. Avoid doing those things that can hurt your partner.

There are some beneficial options for the problem of how to save a marriage. If you want to be a good partner, you should have a capacity to listen to your partner and understand him/her. You should be able to keep calm and talk through the problem. When your partner is talking with you, you should ask the related questions and clarify all doubts.

Good communication is a very important factor for developing the healthy relationships. You should share all problems and feelings with your partner. The most important thing is that you should fully trust your partner and never be jealous about his/her personal and professional progress.

Your approach towards your relationships and married life should be positive. Whenever there are some problems or bitterness, remember the happy moments that you had spent together and try to reignite these moments. When there are some problems, don’t get disturbed or panic, just stay calm. Whenever you lose your temper during the arguments, you generally tend to say and do the things that you actually didn’t mean.

One of the best ways to save a marriage is to create long-term plans with your partner. Make some plans to spend the vacations at good picnic spot. Some future plans that are made together may help to increase the intimacy. It will assure that your partner is always there for you.

Your overall personality and hygiene also have great impact on your married life. Hence, try to be always presentable that your partner likes and adopt hygienic habits. How to save a Marriage should not be a problematic issue at all.

Try some of above solutions and make your married life hassle-free and pleasant one.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Save Marriage Alone

Marriage is often not easy. A successful marriage takes work, dedication, sacrifice, and compromise. But in some marriages, especially when serious problems arise or a crisis hits, you may feel you are the one who has to save marriage alone. This is particularly true if you have a spouse who has emotionally “checked out” or who is unwilling to communicate or work on the problems.

That being said, no matter what the situation the pressure really is on you to save marriage alone. The reason for this is twofold:

1) The only person in the marriage you have the power to change is you. You simply cannot change another person, even your spouse, no matter how much you want to.

2) If you make changes you spouse will inevitably change also. The reason for this is because when you change, the relationship dynamics change. This will require your spouse to adjust in one way or the other.

If you make changes wisely and carefully, your spouse may end up making some very positive changes also, and it will no longer feel like you had to save marriage alone after all.

Whenever there is a conflict in a relationship of any kind, the best thing you can do is ask yourself how you may be contributing. Relationship problems are rarely due to just one person. For example, if your spouse is treating you badly, you must ask yourself why it’s happening. Maybe your spouse really is a jerk, but if this has been going on a long time, it is because you are allowing it.

Dr. Phil, who has helped thousands of people in the course of his career, has stated it very well: “We teach people how to treat us”. That is a powerful truth. If you need to save marriage alone you must ask yourself what things you are doing that have taught your spouse to react to you or treat you in certain ways.

If you feel you are unworthy of being treated with respect, then people are often not going to treat you with respect. Somewhere along the way you have given your spouse the message that it is okay to treat you badly. Even if you have gotten upset, told him you didn’t like it, cried, or even thrown things at him, the fact that it continues to happen is because in one way or another, you are allowing it.

Now, this doesn’t mean you are the cause of your spouse’s bad behavior in any way. He is responsible for his actions. You are only responsible for your reaction as well as your attitude. But if you desire to save marriage alone, you must begin making changes in your reaction and / or your attitude. If what you’ve been doing up until now hasn’t worked, then to continue doing the same thing is futile. You need to do something different.

You have much more power to save marriage alone than you probably realize. By changing your attitudes, behaviors and reactions in the relationship, you will find that those changes will impact your marriage. The trick is in determining which ones will bring about the positive changes you desire. It may be that you need to seek the help of a skilled therapist to determine what changes will be the most beneficial. But there is hope, even when you must save marriage alone, as long as you are willing to make some changes first.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Family and Marriage Therapy Programs

If you are looking for a low cost alternative to expensive marriage therapy from a private professional, you may want to look to see if any colleges or universities in your area offer family and marriage therapy programs.

Therapy can be very expensive when you are paying anywhere from $80 to $150 per hour for a licensed clinician. Many couples don’t have an extra several hundred dollars a month in their budget to cover that type of expense, no matter how much they need the help. Family and marriage therapy programs offered by colleges and universities are usually much less expensive and thus much more affordable.

These programs provide valuable services to people in many ways. Not only do they conduct ongoing research on important topics, they also provide supervised student training. The therapy or counseling services offered by these family and marriage therapy programs typically utilize graduate students who are getting a degree in clinical psychology, general counseling, clinical social work or marriage and family counseling.

The students are not yet licensed, but are providing therapy in order to gain clinical experience which is required by most, if not all, graduate programs. They work under the supervision of a licensed counselor, therapist, psychologist or social worker. As they work with you as a client, they discuss your progress and any concerns or questions they have with their supervisor. This both protects you as a client and also ensures that you are getting quality therapy.

Some family and marriage therapy programs may require that you fall within a particular household income range in order to qualify. They also are usually only available to you if you do not have any type of health insurance which covers outpatient mental health services. In some programs there may be no fee at all, but many do require a fee for services. Part of the reason for this is because people are generally more committed to and invested in the counseling or therapy process if there is a cost to them. When services are free they are often devalued by the client.

Many family and marriage therapy programs have a facility that is separate from the college or university. But others offer the services right there on the campus. Confidentiality is required just as it is with any other type of mental health or medical care.

If you are reluctant to get help through one of these family and marriage therapy programs because you don’t think a student-in-training can help you, you may be short changing yourself out of a very valuable service. Graduate students are not only eager to learn, they are not yet burned out by the profession like some seasoned clinicians who have been doing therapy for years. Also, many graduate students are often very aware of and informed about the most recent advances in treatment for a variety of disorders, which may be to your advantage. So it is definitely worth making a call to see if there is a program in your area, and if you qualify. You will never know unless you try, and if your marriage is in crisis, isn’t it better to thoroughly check out all your options rather than just discount them? If you qualify, at least give it a chance. You may be surprised at how much benefit you may get out of it.