Friday, February 11, 2011

Save Marriage Stop Divorce

Many couples are looking for ways to save marriage, stop divorce after infidelity has nearly destroyed their marriage. An affair is devastating in many ways. One of the areas it damages the most is that of trust. If your marriage has been impacted by an affair, and trust has been shattered, divorce may seem like the likely outcome initially. But it doesn’t have to go that route if you are willing to do the hard work of getting your marriage back on track.

Many couples do find a way to rebuild trust and get past the incredible hurt and betrayal. In fact, in some cases, the affair serves as a wake up call, and if the appropriate changes are made, the marriage becomes stronger than it ever was before. But in order to save marriage, stop divorce you must first find a way to start rebuilding the trust which was lost. Trust is an absolutely essential component of a healthy marriage. Following are some guidelines to help you get it back.

If you are the person who cheated, you must first be willing to take ownership of your actions. This means you can’t blame anyone else, nor can you excuse it by saying something like, “I’m only human”. In order for your partner to trust you again and save marriage, stop divorce, you have to step up to the plate and accept that it was your choice. Do this regardless of what factors may have influenced you.

Second, you must be willing to answer any questions your spouse may have (and trust me, your spouse is going to demand some answers from you!). Don’t try to hide anything at this point or you will destroy any hope of trust ever coming back into the relationship. This is going to be difficult and painful, and it is going to take courage. But honesty is paramount if you want to save marriage, stop divorce. You’ve already severely blown it; don’t make things even worse by lying now.

Third, if there were things bothering you in the marriage which you feel made you start seeking the comfort or closeness of another person, you need to address those. Doing this does not mean you are trying to excuse your behavior. But it is important that you be honest and up front about any frustration and dissatisfaction you were experiencing. You can only change it if you first acknowledge it. Couples who do successfully get past infidelity and save marriage, stop divorce, make the commitment to work on the problems that made their marriage vulnerable in the first place.

Fourth, be very careful about your actions, particularly around anyone who could be perceived by your spouse as a threat to your relationship. In other words, don’t be spending a lot of time alone with another man (or woman) who is particularly attractive or aggressive or flirtatious. Set good boundaries and make sure you don’t do anything which could be misconstrued by your spouse as questionable behavior on your part. Now more than ever you need to honor the sacred bounds of your marriage if you want to save marriage, stop divorce.

Last of all, keep every promise you make. Whether it is a promise to call at a certain time, or to pick up something from the grocery store, or especially to be home at a certain time, you must follow through. And if something comes up and you are going to be late or can’t call, be sure to let your spouse know as soon as possible.

Your marriage can recover from infidelity. You can save marriage, stop divorce if you show that you are 100% committed in your effort to regain and rebuild the trust that has been damaged. It may be a long uphill road, but if you truly want to save your marriage, then it is well worth the effort.

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