Married couples often go through a period of time when they think the relationship may be starting to unravel. If you and your spouse are in this situation, you are probably looking for solutions to the common question, “how can I save our marriage?”. While every couple is different, there are some key things which are practically universal when it comes to keeping a marriage together.
If you are worried about your relationship and wondering to yourself, “how can I save our marriage?”, then please keep reading. This article will help you to understand 4 basic needs that should be met, at least to a significant degree, in a marriage. If your marriage is in trouble, then at least one or more of these needs is not being met. Work on these if you long to answer the question of “what can I do to save our marriage”.
The need to be loved
Everyone has the basic human need for love. Without it, life is empty and lonely. For many people, just knowing they are loved and cherished by one key person, often a spouse, but it could also be a friend or family member, is incredibly empowering. Being loved can give strength, inspiration, and purpose. It is imperative when it comes to knowing how you can “save our marriage” that you truly show your spouse that he or she is loved.
The need to feel significant
In a world with over 6 billion people, it is pretty easy to feel insignificant. When two people get married, there is often an amazing sense of being truly significant and special to one another. Like love, this feeling of significance can be energizing and empowering. Feeling significant gives a person a sense of specialness. Even if no one else notices, you know that your spouse knows how special and unique you are. If “how can I save our marriage” is your concern, then you need to ask yourself if you are treating your spouse as someone who is truly significant to you. Are you meeting that need?
The need for intimacy
We all have a deep need and longing for intimacy. Marriage is a sacred place for both physical and emotional intimacy to be shared between you and your spouse. When you are intimate, you shut out the rest of the world and share a closeness and bond that is very powerful. Intimacy is that sense of connection which we all long for. If you hope to “save our marriage”, then you must allow that vulnerability with your spouse that is part of true intimacy. If either of you are guarded, or refuses to let the other person in, then this need cannot be fully met.
The need to be your authentic self
Unfortunately we live in a world in which we often feel we must put on a façade or persona. This is particularly true in our work but may also be true in many other areas of our life. Few people are secure enough to fully be themselves with others. But the one place which should be safe to be authentic is a marriage. As with intimacy, if one or both of you feel you must be guarded, and can’t truly be yourself, it will hinder your relationship in many ways.
The strongest and healthiest marriages are those in which both people can be truly authentic with each other. In order for you to find the best way to “save our marriage”, you must find a way to eliminate any barriers in your relationship which inhibit either of you from truly being yourself with the other.
When these four basic human needs are being met within your marriage, you will no longer need to wonder “how can I save our marriage”. Your marriage will thrive and be stronger than ever.
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